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Slow Down
  • Wellness
Clara Bakheet

Two years ago, an incident changed my life. 

As I was running trying to catch a person who had the ball, I saw from a distance that they were already caught. I decided to stop running, but unfortunately I wasn’t able to stop fast enough with my right leg. I fell down and felt a crack. That’s when I knew I fractured a bone. 

I was in excruciating pain, and I went straight to the doctor. I did an MRI, and it turns out that I fractured a tibia. The doctor said that I only needed to stay home for a month, and then I would be on braces for a couple of weeks. I thought that it wasn’t that bad.  

But it was bad. As someone who likes to constantly be on my feet, I hated every minute of it. I wanted to go back to my part-time job, to church services, and to hanging out with people.  After a month of rest, I was able to walk with braces, and went back to my normal life.  

But unfortunately, it never went back to normal. Every walk I took, I was in pain. I thought it was psychological: maybe the pain was in my head. I decided to ignore it and keep working and serving in the church. At that time, I was also a college student, but since all my classes went online, I didn’t have to worry about driving and attending classes. 

The pain still was there after a year, and I thought to myself, This is not normal. I shouldn't be in pain for this long. I went back to the doctor, and did a second MRI. It turns out that the bone had never truly healed properly. I was sad and angry. The last thing I wanted was surgery. I can’t stop my life. I needed to push through it. 

After I finished my undergraduate degree, and got a job at TSCS (highlight of my year), I knew I couldn’t take it any longer. I decided to do the surgery.  

To tell you the truth, the reason I had not healed properly was because I did not take the rest my body needed. As soon as I was told I could move, I went immediately back to work and I didn’t listen to my body when I started feeling pain again. My previous coworker told me our boss almost let me go because I was out for too long. That’s when I felt guilty and I went back to work. 

So, this was my mistake. What if I had not felt guilty about almost getting fired? Would I have healed properly?

I asked this question a lot before my surgery. But regardless of the answer, I needed to learn the hard way to slow down and listen to my body.  

I thought that, as a Christian, I needed to be always on the go, to be everywhere and to be doing everything. But that has only harmed me more than helped me. Even though God gave us free will, we need to use it wisely and take care of body, mind, and soul. I can’t help others if I do not take care of myself.

I do not tell this story about my life for pity or for praise; I could not do anything without Christ. It is because of Him that I have gotten this far in my healing process.

 

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28