“Don’t let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” — John Wooden

One of the popular phrases I often hear in response from students when asked if they would consider playing a certain sport in the upcoming season is, “I don’t know. I’m not any good.” They avert their eyes, and you can see in real time they are making a self-assessment that automatically disqualifies them or, perhaps more accurately, provides an excuse not to try.

At this point, I typically pose questions which lead to the request that they give it further consideration. If a friend who is on a team is nearby, I enlist their help to be a witness of the rewards, the connection and fun found in the challenge of growing individually and as a team. These encounters occur often, and it causes me to reflect on why I believe it is important for students to give sports a chance.

So, how do I help students move past the barriers they set for themselves in their own mind? Though I have not found a satisfying answer to this question, I've realized that barriers are often erected as means for protection. This is evident when I train those who are not athletically inclined, and I see how vulnerable it is to be asked to do something where the results are immediately and repeatedly on display. Even if you are talented and can cognitively understand what you are being asked to do, your body can refuse to put it together. Every rep you are exposed and confronted with a choice to endure or not.

There came a point in training a couple of years ago, where I had to stop practice to reframe my athletes’ perspective. I said to them, “If you’re not willing to look like a fool, you will not grow.” People who look effortless in their craft are only able to do so because they have missed a thousand shots, shanked a thousand balls, and hit the floor a thousand times, but still pressed on. Their perspective develops those instances into lessons. They do not fail because they have not quit.

Avoiding situations that are challenging is natural, but, in the long run, can be a detrimental habitat to form. To accomplish anything of value, you must journey on a road that is paved with obstacles that stretch us, cause doubt, and wear us down.

Why is building resilience important? If you are resolved to learn from your mistakes rather than be defined by them, your chance of success rapidly improves. Imagine the effects of daily expecting to encounter barriers and disappointments but being determined to persevere. Fear stifles your ability to move forward. It hinders your resolve to be fully present to the task that is before you. And, if you do not reorient your mind as 2 Corinthians 10:5 teaches, you are already losing the battle.

“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.” — William Barclay

Elite athletes make a conscientious decision to convert the fear of failure into opportunities to cultivate skills. Mistakes become teaching devices to reach their goals. Playing sports offers a truly unique environment for developing one's mind, body, and spirit. What you say is quickly reconciled by the evidence found in your actions. Your affect reveals often what your thoughts are about yourself. And, whether you show up again the next day focused and on mission tells me about what you believe.

Even as a coach, the gym is a place where I am confronted with myself. Just as with any leadership position, those you lead have the capability to become a mirror. To better resonate with my players, I had to ask myself when the last time was that I felt vulnerable and chose to feel like a fool for my growth. How have I made choices to stretch myself and make a thousand mistakes?

If I am asking others to dedicate themselves to daily choose the hard path and trust me that a great reward awaits them both now and later, then that is something I should be modeling in my own life. From there my choice was clear. There is no greater discomfort that I have than singing, so I committed to joining the Faculty Choir.

Our Music Director, Lauren Turner, and I have conversed about the parallels between music and athletics. We have discussed how anything could be learned with enough time, discipline and training. Reluctantly, I had to concede that this notion had to include singing, though it would be more convenient for my pride if it did not. In both disciplines, your body is an instrument that must be developed consistently. Breath and timing. Control and posture. Form and execution. This process cannot be rushed or circumvented. Understanding the history, framework, and being proficient in the fundamentals are important no matter what level you are at.

In his book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell points out that "Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.” Those who become masters in their field cannot depend on innate talent alone. Do those who are naturally gifted tend to shine? Absolutely! But only in the beginning is this true. It is the individual that dedicates their time that surpasses their peers to become excellent. Hard work is the determining factor in the end.

So, here I am in year two of choir facing my limitations at every practice. However, placing myself in a room where my knowledge base is rudimentary at best, showing up has been such a necessity for my soul. Sharing a space with my colleagues where we sing beautiful music often brings fullness after a long day of work. Feeling out of my league yet somehow contributing alongside truly talented musicians inspires me to want to be better. Recognizing that if I do want to improve, it is actually on me to align my words with actions to create the results I desire. And I must accept that every time my voice cracks it is not in fact confirmation that I have no business being in the room.

To me that is one of the blessings of The Saint Constantine School. If you spend any amount of time on our campus, you can observe the beauty of those who do not just intellectually wonder, but who take action to discover more about the world God gifted us, which in turn helps you learn more about yourself. Every day on campus I see students who are learning how rise above difficulty.

This community fosters an environment where students, faculty and parents can expand their paradigm. Casually performing in front of hundreds of their peers for "Music at Noon." Joining a club where you learn Alexander Hamilton lyrical parts, play chess, or sword fighting techniques. Field Day where you are physically asked to compete whether you are personally motivated or not. Retreats where you learn to meditate, reflect, and depend on your peers. Symposiums where we read poetry, discuss math concepts and team build. Third Thursday Lectures that provide a window into topics that are beneficial for our minds to contemplate on.

If you allow it, this environment is an invitation for us all to be shaped through the very pursuits that cause understandable hesitation. Children and adults are equal in our need to be in circumstances that challenge us. Come join the Well-Read Parent Group. Challenge your child to give a couple seasons of Track & Field a go. Perhaps it is time you gave coaching a team in a sport you have never played a run. In the end, it is my hope we all see the benefit and therefore make the effort to be comfortable being uncomfortable.